Introduction

As an introductory post, I wanted to document what's going on at the present moment.

The image posted here is the first guide portrait I did after deciding to start guide portraits again. See, back in fall of 2011, I was nudged to begin practicing, so I took some requests from Spiritual Forums, and was trying to see these guides (or angels) as other people see them: wise old Buddhist monks, Native Americans, beautiful, Celtic women, Greeks and Romans... and I didn't like the majority of them. Of course, my technical skill with a tablet was lamentable, but the portraits were still satisfactory. Odd anatomy issues and whatnot, but still satisfactory. 

It wasn't what I wanted out of these portraits, because I never really saw these beings as other people did. The guide picture here was the first "official" guide I discovered - an androgynous energy who came to me in a dream disguised as an attractive, expressive young man with shaggy blond hair, blue eyes, and a humble but powerful aura. When I woke up, I knew his name was Spike.

I don't really work with Spike anymore. A few months ago, he revealed himself to be Shiva, which took me 2-3 weeks to digest and finally accept. But then my perspective shifted, and I began going straight to Adonai (my name for the creative energy people know as Creator or Source). All "guides" I worked with dissolved as mere faces of myself - forces whose job it was to deliver me to where I am now.

Of course, this doesn't really affect my current process when doing spirit/psychic art. If I'm doing a guide or angel portrait for someone, I simply tune in to their aura and determine what types of "beings" they're meant to be seeing and connecting with. In my current view, everything is recorded in the aura. I don't exactly resonate with the idea of some set of beings or Akashic Records in the unseen dimensions holding all the answers. But that's just me. I can't control what resonates and what doesn't.

I have primarily worked digitally over the past year, using Paint Tool SAI and a simple Bamboo Pen tablet. Why? For a few reasons: 1.) because I wanted to work on my digital painting skills; 2.) it's a lot quicker; 3.) I'm attending art school and prefer to save my traditional supplies for that; 4.) I can utilize brighter, more accurate colors; and 5.) because I've really only seen 1-2 other spirit artists who utilize digital media in their spirit art. Plus, I didn't want to have to go through the effort of shipping all those traditional drawings.

However, I've recently wanted to begin working traditionally, as well, because I understand that some people will feel it's more valuable. It's something more organic... less artificial. I have had reports of people receiving my digital work and using it as wallpaper, or printing it out and hanging it on their bedroom wall, though. I'd be more inclined to work traditionally if I worked at an office or some kind of fair; that way, I don't have to worry about shipping, the work getting damaged, etc. 

I'd love to work at an office. I'm hoping to work at Phoenix and Dragon, which is my favorite metaphysical shop in metro Atlanta. The only thing is, I'm not sure if they'll even accept me, because I'm young and really only have a year of experience under my belt. A little over one hundred readings, but only one year of experience. And "psychics"... well. They all put the emphasis on how many years they've had to practice, because people want to make sure they're accurate as possible, right?

But here's the deal. The majority - I'd say 97% - of the portraits and art readings I've done for people have been accurate. I've hit many nails on the head, and even freaked a few people out with some eerie details. However, at the present moment, I don't get a lot of... detail. Or interpretation. See, the metaphor I use is that I'm just as good as a pencil. The pencil doesn't know what it's drawing. It just draws. It can get an idea of what's being drawn based on what's coming out on paper, or what its owner is feeling about the drawing, but ultimately, all it's doing is drawing. I'm that pencil. Everything just flows through me onto the canvas, and I have little description or interpretation to offer for that reason. 

Aura portraits are a little different, though. I can interpret those because that's just all energy and colors reflecting certain moods or imbalances. I'm not dealing with personified energy or trying to give advice or answers. I'm just seeing what's there for me to see and interpreting it based on what the colors are and how they interact with other colors. I could write essays on aura readings.

But guide portraits and channeled readings? Those are tricky. I mentioned this on my personal blog a couple of times: I would really like to be able to interpret my work fully. Because you know what? Every spirit artist I've looked up is able to do that. And a handful of them are multi-talented... able to hear spirit and channel through writing, etc. I don't want to compare myself to these lovely artists, but what good am I if I have to rely on other people to interpret something that I created myself? See, I have a small group of about five lovely ladies who help me interpret portraits and channeled readings when I do livestream sessions. I love them to death, and I appreciate all the help they've given me; however, I still mourn the fact that I can't give details to these people who so nicely ask.

You might wonder: then why not just practice more? Why not believe the details will come to you?

Practicing more is logical, yes. I do intend on practicing more, of course. But a few months ago, someone said something to me that had a big impact on the way I viewed my art. She said: "Your art carries messages that are essentially the 'bare truth.'" She went on to say that for this reason, I often didn't want to show the art to the sitter because I was afraid it might be true and would upset them (this is accurate). And also - that my art carried exactly what the sitter needed to see/hear, even if I didn't know what was being presented.

So this is why I'm conflicted. I don't know if my skill will improve to the point where I can interpret my work, or if I'm forever to be the "pencil." I guess it's kind of naive to assume that with only one year of experience, I should be pro, but I don't care how long I've been doing this. I care how much I've done. And according to my folders, I've done over 100 art readings - 98% of them for members at Spiritual Forums, and all for free. Countless times, my sitters have suggested that I charge for them. But I kept ignoring that suggestion because I didn't feel ready, and I thought: if I'm going to charge for these, I want them to be bloody beautiful. Because I'm still opposed to charging for information that is essentially advice. Then again, this is a service. What I do - or plan to do - is no different than any other artist taking commissions, or even a counselor giving life advice.

It takes effort to create good art. It takes even more effort to create good art that has a significant impact on the one receiving it. So with all that in mind, I don't know how else I might help this gift aside from practice. I'm not exactly in a good financial state to be spending over $100 on development classes or face time with mentors/people more experienced than me. I need my money for art school and supplies. 

I guess I should start asking around.